Yes, we see more and more of this.
When white friends ask what they can do, our responses are to not only to listen but also to act, and without bragging about it as if a 'favor' was done for somebody. It is not a favor to others to stop oppressing them: it is baseline moral behavior.
Let me give you an example: when white people say they want to 'help,' in general, they want this 'help' to seem like a kind and benevolent effort to say the right things and possibly to push back at another person acting racist so that this doesn't go unchallenged. Both of these things are fine, and they're a start.
But the statement 'help' in and of itself indicates internalized superiority and condescension. Understanding white supremacy means understanding that white people are getting things that often should be going to others, whether that's money, real estate, promotion, awards. Therefore, there isn't any need to 'help'--a word that implies POCs are needy. They need to MOVE THEIR HEAVY FOOT. This means that they simply perform baseline, basic, fundamental moral duties--TO NOT CONSTANTLY ENRICH THEMSELVES, AS OUR SOCIETY IS SET UP ON CRUISE CONTROL--this is not 'help' for others: it is simply basic human decency which has been shirked for half an era/c. 500 years. White pp should orient themselves to this: reaccumulating fundamental human morality is NOT a favor to POCs: it is white pp finally exhibiting the most basic, as-expected human morality. There's nothing to be proud of here--instead, there should be an interrogation for why this shitshow was allowed to proceed for so long.
True anti-racists understand that they can't truly 'help' POCs, because we are already performing and behaving, very often at higher levels than white pp. They can only 'help' themselves: MOVE THAT HEAVY FOOT. That is an acknowledgement of the profound privileging that damages the rest of us.
This involves doing two things that we've noticed even the most overt anti-racists do not want to do:
1. Admit that as a white individual, that person has privilege=NOT merit=gifted. This cruise control of 'gifting,' when applied in competitive circumstances (ie, zero-sum) shirk this issue by stating that 'talking about these things as if they are zero-sum ISN'T NICE.' Nothing about white supremacy is nice, therefore we need to deal with it head on EVEN IF IT MEANS EACH INDIVIDUAL WHITE PERSON ACKNOWLEDGE PRIVILEGE.
2. MORE IMPORTANT: This is the step most white pp don't take. Don't just talk, and get lots of credit for being anti-racist. In fact, DON"T talk, but do the right thing. Some suggestions:
a. Promoted? Assume white privilege gave that promotion and that a performing POC won't get it if you do. Ask SERIOUSLY if you deserved it or if it belongs to a higher performing POC. As POCs, we estimate--in routine conversation--that, more than 50% of the time, white pp got a promotion that a POC--a wide range!--deserved. Don't take that promotion. Return it while admitting it came due to extrinsic privileging. We know that Gramps Buckingham the 20th, who is sitting on the Boards and in the C suites, will NEVER consider POCs as leaders. Therefore, he will ONLY award this prize to white pp. That's called white supremacy. If you're white , default to that: I got it for free, and now I"m returning it as is morally proper. Don't allow yourself to take it from a higher performer.
Our world automates to elevating white pp. EACH such elevation should be interrogated as high-potential privilege. Most humans don't want to believe that what they've convinced themselves they've rightfully earned is actually gifted extrinsically, and that other people working harder and doing a better job were deprived of their rightfully earned reward due to that extrinsic privileging AKA free ride. White pp should default to privilege each time they get an award, NOT merit.
Ask your supervisor; talk to HR; look at the places of power in your work place. If they are dominated by white pp, assume FIRST that privilege got them there, not merit. Then, ask how those POCs who've been screwed can now get those positions which very often should have gone to them in the first place.
Again this won't feel good because we all want to believe we 'earned' what we have. White supremacy tells us that, when white pp do this, they give themselves a big break AT TH EXPENSE OF OTHERS. Privilege and merit are diametrically opposed. White pp have racial privilege: that's the main pole where their minds should spend time, IF they expect to ACT anti-racist.
If you are a white woman, and you feel tempted to write about the suffering of other peoples, or you can see a microscopic percentage of opportunity going to POCs instead of you (instead of the zero opportunity POCs are used to), SERIOUSLY CONSIDER BEING A GHOSTWRITER. DO NOT CENTRALIZE YOUR NAME ON THAT BOOK. DON'T TAKE THE BULK OF THE PROFITS, OR TAKE NONE AT ALL. White women act as if they can write not only their 'problems,' but they also assume that they can write EVERYBODY ELSE'S PLUS make that profit. THIS IS MULTILAYERED AMORALITY. If you don't have a story to tell and you want to tell someone else's, your name should be barely visible and not publicized. This visibility, publication, AND MONEY belong to that POC. If white women truly just 'want to tell that brown story,' then do just that, and stop hogging the other assets that belong to POCs. You can tell that story and still give the credit and money, as appropriate, to the POC to whom that history belongs.
White women: from the perspective of POCs who receive a microscopic amount of privilege compared to your big blob of it, you look as if you are taking our things. Ask yourself, if you want to write somebody else's story, if you intentions are truly anchored in a place of decency. Here is the litmus test: are you willing to let the POC with that story get the money, the fame, and their name on the cover? You can still help POC this way, without also taking our stuff from us. Don't participate in Damsel-In-Distressism and, when you don't get published immediately, call up rich white WASP writers saturated in white privilege themselves (Zink and Franzen/ or Cummin and Stephen King) and get them to sell your book for you. The professional writers I know actually have to revise and produce real value; if you don’t, give the credit to the POC, where it is due. Here's what NOT to do: Brag incessantly about how you wrote your (subpar) book 'in a couple of months,' and then, instead of actually working on it, call a white man to market it because you just aren’t interested in work. This is embarrassing behavior, and those publications should go to worthy POCs writing authentically about actual LIVED difficulties.
This works at all levels: any job, from entry level up to executive; university admissions; artistic, where awards seem ONLY to plop into white laps, etc. QUESTION MERIT IF YOU ARE WHITE.
This is the real test: will white pp be willing to redistribute assets back to POC, or will they continue to talk, talk, talk and distract while continuing to snatch the promotions, the executive positions, the publications, the credit, etc....
We will know that equality has happened when white people don't feel so incredibly magnanimous about helping us; this means they've admitted that what they have to do will come at a material loss to them, inevitably, if they do it right. It will also generate morality and equality. This isn't 'help,' it is simply acting moral. There's no reason to brag about this, constantly steal the limelight, or accept every single extrinsically granted gift as 'merit' or 'earned.'
Most POCs don't think about basic moral behavior as 'help' for someone else; we think of it as proper behavior that indicates that person's individual integrity. White pp should, too: their internal integrity will come from acting appropriately, and shouldn't expect reward from anybody else. They should think of it this way: if we've behaved properly, we will be in a society in which my 'help' will no longer be needed, because I won't have the privileged ability to reach down to others anymore: they will be at my level.