This isn’t just what our immigrant parents think, it is my lived experience for 30+ years of professional employment! I tell my children the same thing: you are not white, therefore you’ll have to work harder.

The fact is that until white people take pragmatic responsibility — which has to do with shifting money and higher level positions to POC’s — nothing will change. No ‘nice’ attitude can compensate for taking a POC’s promotion and subsequent money from them because you’re white: this just isn’t nice behavior. The behavior must change, which assumes that white people collectively will need to give things back (they think of this as giving ‘up.’)