Thanks for this article.

Though I can't speak for the Black experience, I can say that, in my family of mixed-race and ethnicity peoples for several generations, there are always a few of these very conservative, usually male, brown people who cleave 'white.'

As psychologists know, self-deception is an extremely complex set of behaviors that typically has one goal: make the person feeling something he/she/they know is likely wrong NOT experience that 'wrong' feeling. Unless the person has the courage to face that feeling, it becomes a form of self-deception. In my family, these types of people--usually young males, and by young I mean under the age of 60s--will engage in a wide range of very complex psychological behaviors in order to NOT see that they are deceiving themselves. Stockholm Syndrome is one such tool--one of many--a a very complex psychological tool that is so effective it allowed Patty Hearst to lie to herself about her own abduction.

When I see these men in my family, I see not only self-deception but an extreme devotion to it, as if their entire identity depends on it. In my family, it isn't typically about politics only, it is about embracing ALL aspects of whiteness and power: these men will talk incessantly about their white wives, their blue-eyed children, their newest house in a historically-chlorinated suburb. Conversely, they will denigrate nonwhite items, top on the list being rap/hip-hop, which has also become part of Eastern culture (Middle East, China to name a few.) I note that these guys often eschew rap and hip-hop without explaining (even to themselves???) that this hatred comes from a hatred of nonwhiteness. I've heard both partly Chinese and partly Syrian people call rap 'bad' because it's 'too black.' Of course, the more tactical way to deal with that trope is to NOT admit that political backdrop behind that choice and only mention the choice itself. Sometimes I wonder if these family members are even marginally aware of their lack of basic insight. In my family, after multiple meetings with these types (occasionally women, too) it becomes clear that their identity is completely wrapped up in achieving power by imitating whiteness in all its forms.

Because self-deception, such as the Stockholm Syndrome, is incredibly COMPLEX and difficult to quantify, it is marginalized in order to avoid that realization. This is a form of social narcissism, a way that white people can collectively say, 'look, there's a real Black man, someone willing to pull himself out of poverty,' instead of admitting that their profound privilege is what keeps success away from the many Black people especially--but also other POCs--who have actually earned it.

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She/Her: Distort lies until they amplify truth. CryBaby: As loud as necessary.

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