Thank you for this thoughtful article.
My experience of being Middle Eastern and European (amongst other things) is similar in some ways. My limbs are scattered across three continents.
I admit that, when relatives of color think I am ‘too white,’ I do perceive this as defensive, as a response to a wider experience of whiteness as superior. My experience of this is that, regardless of the country or even continent involved, white is always dominant.
The reality is that ‘hypodescence,’ or the ‘one drop rule,’ is still active (on a ‘de jure’ basis); that is, any amount of non-whiteness confers some degree of perceived ‘contamination’ with other than white. This is elaborated more subtly than it might have been a century ago, but my lived experience is that of being ‘lesser than’ as a result of being something other than white.
Thus, regardless of our individual definitions, the social reality which allows for our derogation — which existed to establish dominance and now exists to maintain it — still place us in a derogatory category. On the basis of ‘colorism,’ we are just not adequately white, even if we are whiter than some others.
We will be dealing with these particular issues of identity as long as ‘whiteness’ remains dominant.
Whites have a responsibility to get together and discuss these things: why, after 500 years, does this worldwide system of fascism, white supremacy, still exist? Who exactly benefits from this??