In my experience, liberal white women exert a lot of effort convincing themselves that they are nice, good liberals rather than actually acting that way. As a result, after decades of this, it seems as if the dominant approach is simply hypocritical. Often, when I have started a conversation about race, it morphs into a focus on the white women’s experiences with economic difficulty or an episode of misogyny. Somehow, they fail to see that I am both a POC AND a woman, and thus have also experienced misogyny. Wouldn’t the assumption be that, despite experiencing both misogyny and racism, I am choosing to speak about racism?
Yet, the narrative must always be pulled towards whatever taxes the white woman, with a decided minimization of the import of race and color. It seems a deliberate effort to cast themselves as victims only, without acknowledging the significant privileging that whiteness imparts.
Nice words that aren’t backed by action don’t matter much. POC don’t want white people to ‘help’ us succeed — this not only assumes we need help but also implies that white people will stay in positions of power where they always control who is ‘helped.’ The condescension is often implied by white women whose attitude imparts their assumption that they will always be present to lean down and ‘help’ us. How generous.
The better move would be to ask, next time there is acceptance to university, publication, promotion, award, etc how much of this was really earned and how much conferred by whiteness? (For example, Adele’s acceptance of her Grammy several years ago.)
I find that the white women most inclined to deniability will recoil at this suggestion, indicating they are not ready to admit their privilege.