I will repeat again, though I am sure I've tried to explain this to you before.
First of all, I can pass as white. I have, and so I know that white women are treated better than women of color, at least based on my persistent, decades-long experience when I do pass as white. No, I'm not white, but due to the fact that these are social experiences, being perceived as white and as not white can give me a comparison point that most people don't have. Emphatically, my experiences of being perceived white are better than of being perceived 'other.' I am sure that it results in promotions and rewards because I've watched it my entire life.
But in terms of collective behavior, 'white' is an advantage. Why did you disregard my example?? It is a concrete example which can be traced back for decades. There is documentation that affirmative action was meant for people of color and that white men in our government shifted those resources to white women. They literally wrote and then codified that a trickle of opportunity--obviously, affirmative action can't begin to compensate African Americans for hundreds of years of lost wages--so that even that tiny bit went to people who were white.
This is white supremacy, Ms. Lindz. It gives things to white people. They couldn't claim white men were 'minorities,' but they wanted to keep the resources in their hands--and they're marrying these white women. They made this much more likely to happen by making marriages between white and nonwhite people illegal in the 1600's, so that whatever resources white women got would stay in the 'white family.' This made it difficult for anybody to marry outside of white, thus keeping the white resources with white people. This was a law until 1967, many years AFTER Germany outlawed this racist behavior. So, giving white women benefits means those benefits stay in white hands. So, they claimed white women were 'minorities' and used that lie to give white women resources that belonged to people of color, mostly Black people.
For about half a century, these affirmative action benefits have gone to white women. Those women have used that benefit to gain access to higher levels (executive, etc) where again they are allowed because they are white. Men of color are frequently at a disadvantage statistically compared to white women....why? They are still men. They are at a disadvantage because they aren't WHITE, which is the deciding factor in the minds of white men.
There are plenty of examples of white women coddling. But you don't need to take my word for it Why was attendance to women's marches 2-3 MILLION in 2016 but dropped to a few thousand early this year (before COVID)? If you do a quick search, you will see that many, many women of color are not interested because the women's movement doesn't represent us. It represents white women. Ask yourself why this is: that literally millions of women of color are no longer willing to attend these events: are all of us wrong? Or is it possible that you are actively unwilling to see your advantage?
You can keep pushing against this. I recommend that you listen instead. We live our oppression every day. Black women are especially embattled given the layers of social disadvantage. A Black woman in my group of readers recently asked the rest of us to request a white woman leave the group because she could not admit her privilege. She could admit that white privilege exists, but not for her. She's an 'embattled' white woman and the REAL problems in our world are about feminism. Here's the REAL problem, though: if 5 other WOMEN of color are stating that the central issue is race, and we are also female, what are you saying about us as females?? We are dealing with both patriarchy and race, so if we are prioritizing race, why aren't you hearing that? You see, as long as she shifts the conversation to her one disadvantage and refuses to discuss her advantage, then we aren't going to move forward. We aren't just a patriarchal world, we're a white supremacist world as well. If white woman privilege doesn't exist, than neither does our oppression. And we know our oppression exists. We are likely to keep calling it out as time passes.
I strongly recommend you read more of Marleys essays, and other Black women, because our society positions them 'below.' Therefore, they are more likely, generally speaking, to understand oppression than others. As a possible white-passer, I can always work on getting this advantage (even if I have to subvert my real self), but Black women never escape their social disadvantage. Again, yes, the way I am treated when perceived as white is better.