Thank you for your empathy!
Ultimately, the only way the oppressor class can help oppressed peoples is by ceding their power.
Here is a quotation by Paolo Friere:
"The generosity of the oppressors is nourished by an unjust order, which must be maintained in order to justify that generosity.”
Do you understand? Basically, if generosity is used as a placecard for 'whiteness,' there is no improvement. That is, if each individual white person decides to 'help' the POC, the stance taken is essentially that they plan to maintain the power, so that they can keep being generous (and perceived as 'nice') and keep 'helping.' The POC generally wants power, not help getting there. They want the same thing that white people are holding onto vigorously, so JUST giving 'help' isn't going to cut it.
The main problem is that the power hasn't moved. The important thing for white anti-racists to ask themselves is: am I willing to give up my power?
Superficial paradigms of generosity can't work if the 'generosity' is predicated on keeping power.
I would suggest, Ms. Noel, that if you plan to be generous to a person with less (collective) power, which is certainly more penetrated among black people given our history, consider that if you do it correctly, you can only do it once.
Do you understand? That real generosity--the ACTUAL anti-racist work--passes the power, and thus does not have the power be generous again.
This is what we need to see from real anti-racists.